I'm starting a new blog because I have things to say that don't fit 140 characters or less or the confines of a Facebook box. Those have been my primary methods of communication for the last couple of years and while I dearly love Twitter and Facebook, they're just not enough.
But I hardly wanted to spend money to keep up Where The Kudzu Grows since it was a sorely neglected mess. So back to a free platform where I can write down things that help me purge my heart and mind on all my issues. And I have a boatload of issues, y'all.
Let's play catch up, shall we. The last few years have been, if I'm being polite, horrible. Here's the quick run down in no particular order:
~my daughter miscarried two babies due to a clotting disorder. (she has since had my beautiful grandson whom I love and adore thanks to wonderful doctors and daily heparin shots in the stomach)
~my mother's breast cancer metastasized to her bones causing her to break her femur, pelvis, three ribs, and a hip. We spent 10 weeks in the hospital last summer for a boatload of surgeries, radiation, and a chemo treatment that nearly killed her. She continues to decline and her current treatment has stopped working. We're waiting for them to decide what the next treatment option might be.
~my husband's best friend was accused of and later confessed to being a serial pedophile. He's now serving time in prison.
~because we attended church with the pedophile, things transpired that caused us to leave our church of eight years.
~several pillars of the faith that I highly respected and probably borderline-idolized were exposed as adulterers and/or child molesters.
~a minister that I worked for 15 years ago and who baptized one of my children stabbed his wife to death so he could marry his gay lover. Allegedly. Trial/plea deal still pending.
~my 14 year old daughter was found to have a congenital heart defect at a yearly check-up this summer. She is undergoing a heart procedure in 9 days.
~in her pre-op testing, we discovered my 14 year old has the same clotting disorder as my married daughter so that makes her surgery more challenging.
That's about it. I joke sometimes that the Lord intends to slay me with stress. The word "stress" seems like such a paper tiger. It has been so debilitating that at times that I found it difficult to function in my daily life. I gained 40 (maybe 50... who weighs anymore?) pounds over this time. Refined carbs and I had become FAR too close and we had to break up. I have been ineffective at homeschooling, homemaking, and being social. For the longest time I just stayed home and stared at mindless sitcoms.
Don't underestimate the healing power of mindless sitcoms, however. They have been therapeutic to my beaten and bruised psyche. Don't underestimate the power of trials in your life either. The Lord has used each of these things, some far more painful than others but all of them awful. He has changed me. He has pulled me into a far closer walk with Him than I ever enjoyed before. He has shown me what living in grace and mercy is all about, something I forgot about a decade ago when I slipped down the slippery slope of legalism. He has shown me His grace is sufficient when I face rejection and ridicule. His grace is sufficient in times of abject terror. His grace is sufficient in times of intense sorrow and grief. His grace is sufficient in ALL things. You know those things as a believer, but you never really *know* them until His grace is all you have.
So, my life is still in the midst of horrible trials. There are a lot of tears and sorrow ahead for me. But I'm finding my way back to health, productivity, and joy. I even put on make-up every now and then.
I'm back! (and all the blogging world rejoiced) :-)
